The Cockney Alphabet

Here we present a couple of versions of the classic Cockney alphabet. As taught to me by my grandfather. Teach it to your kids, it’ll make them grow up to be well-rounded, learned individuals who can get along in any social situation.

A for Horses (or A fer Gardener)

B for Mutton

C for Miles (or Seaforth Highlanders or C for Yourself)

D for Dumb (or D fer Ential) (or D fer Kate)

E for Brick

F for Lump (or F fer Vescence)

G for Police (or G for Get It)

H for Consent (or H for Bless You)

I for Novello (or I for the Engine)

J for Nice Time (or J for Oranges)

K for Restaurant

L for Leather

M for Cream (or M for Sis)

N for Lope

O for the Wings of a Dove (O for the Rainbow)

P for Relief

Q for the Loos (or Q for the Pictures)

R for Mo (or R fer English)

S for you, you can take a hike (or S for Rantzen)

T for Gums (or T for Two)

U for Me (or U for Mism)

V for Espana

W for a Quid (or W for the Winnings)

X for Breakfast

Y for Mistress

Zee for Moiles (or Z for Wind)

Thanks also to:

David Campbell, Geoff Firth, Andrew W Llewellyn, Phil Reynolds, Rodney Clare for alternative suggestions.