Here’s the peerless Ronnie Barker delivering a sermon in cockney rhyming slang from The Two Ronnies. How he manages to keep that poker face going throughout we’ll never know.

Here are some of the phrases he uses:

Cape of Good HopeSoap
Stand at EaseCheese
Khyber PassArse
Cain and AbleTable
Hampstead HeathTeeth
Trouble and StrifeWife
Bricks and MortarDaughter
Tea LeafThief
Bees and HoneyMoney
Burton on TrentRent
Half InchPinch
Ball of ChalkWalk
Cherry RipePipe
Almond RocksSocks
Dicky DirtShirt
Frog and ToadRoad
Round the HousesTrousers
How d’ya DosShoes
Westminster AbbeyShabby
Bushel and PeckNeck
Two ThirtyDirty
Pen and InkStink
North and SouthMouth
Mince PiesEyes
I SupposeNose
Saucepan LidKid
Uncle FredBread
Early DoorsDrawers
George RaftDraft
Rubber DubPub
Tumble Down the SinkDrink
Elephant’s TrunkDrunk
Mozart (and Liszt)Pissed
Bird LimeTime
Cat and MouseHouse
Stewed PruneTune
Richard the ThirdBird!
Plates of MeatFeet
Four by TwoJew
Sky RocketPocket
Lady GodivaFiver
Froth and BubbleTrouble
Lionel BlairStair
Bottle and GlassArse

Thank you to “Leo” for helping us out by pointing out some of the slang we had missed. ?