Cockney slang for money isn’t always easy to remember. Is a Pony £25 or £50? What’s a Bullseye? Is a Monkey £200 or £500?

Cockney money slang
Cockney money slang

Anyway, here’s a poem that’ll help you to learn Cockney money slang. And this is only the tip of the iceberg! We have a complete dictionary of London money slang.

A Cockney knows all about money
Cos its what make his world go around
But he doesn’t say money, he says bees and honey
When talking bout pennies and pounds

A pound in the Smoke is a nicker
A hundred of them make a ton
And what rhymes with Nicker but old Alan Whicker
And that’s just the start of the fun

Next we have Lady Godiva
That’s a fiver to you and to me
Three fivers add up to a Commodore
Cos that’s three times a Lady you see?

A tenner is known as a cockle
And that comes from cockerel and hen
A score is two tenners, or two Ayrton Sennas
By the way can you give us a lend?

A ten and three fives make a pony
Or twenty-five quid to be plain
That’s just about right to go out Friday night
And on Saturday come home again

Five times a ton is a monkey
Five hundred quid right on the button
Don’t ask me to lend it, I don’t recommend it
When asked for a loan I go mutton

Two Monkeys add up to a grand
One thousand of our English pounds
A nice wodge of cash (known as bangers and mash)
Though not quite as grand as it sounds

But that isn’t all there is to it
There are many more rhymes to be learned
Though one thing that’s funny when it comes to money
It’s spent just as soon as it’s earned